she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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