i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
