Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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