it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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