Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
