We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
