I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
