Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You made out with two different species that night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
