So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
