Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
