I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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