Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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