we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
