she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
