she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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