p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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