Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
