hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
