I didn't shave. On purpose
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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