Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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