I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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