Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
