how can u be prego again
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
