Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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