And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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