Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just tell him i said nine months
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
