I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
