shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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