so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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