Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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