I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
