some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
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