does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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