Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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