Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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