oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
