Jerry, you need to find god
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
