I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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