Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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