Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
