girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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