I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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