I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
