My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
