A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
