Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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