If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Alive.
So much puke
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
