Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Everything about him screamed your future.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
