Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
