smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
