you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
