I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize